Five Weeks After--My Ode to America

Today, Sunday October 4th, marks my fifth complete week that I have lived in Madrid, Spain. As you can see by the previous posts, this place is incredible, fabulous, and above all, a great opportunity to get to know myself outside of what I know so well in America. My senora is surely destined for sainthood (get on that Pope Benedict), my neighborhood is a nice little community of older folks and families, and my professors are great.

All this said, I do have a few very minor complaints. In the spirit of passive-aggression, I now write to you some of the things that have in some ways gotten to me here in Spain. The kind of things that make you say, "Really, people? Really?" So now I will continue.

1. Smoking. Europeans like to smoke. This is a proven fact, published in the Book of Jane (Hartung 76). Though it probably benefits tobacco farmers throughout the southern US, it does not benefit my poor lungs. Every morning, at 7 am, I am greeted by the scent of burning tobacco from the neighbors. When we go to school in the morning, Marissa and I walk behind at least one smoker, inhaling enough secondhand smoke that I will need to get Nicotene patches to wean me off of tobacco upon arrival back in the US. And by the night, when we go downtown, rest assured that we are probably in a cloud of tobacco smoke. Dear lungs, I am sorry that you are turning black. Love, Jane

2. Vegetables. Spain is known for their food, I am sure. In fact, they are very well known for their hams, cheeses, olives, wines, and pastries. And damn, they are all incredible. But look, a girl has gotta eat some veggies. Let's face it, I need fiber, if you know what I mean. End of story.

3. Internet. In the US, we give away Internet like we give away corn subsidies. I could probably close my eyes and point on a map and find some place with Internet back home. However, Marissa and I have had the hardest time finding an Internet cafe or a place with free WiFi access. Boy oh boy!

4. Mullets and dreads, or a combination of both. Yes, back in Greenville, SC, or more specifically Traveler's Rest, SC, you are destined to see a good mullet at the local Wal-Mart. But, you know, it is endearing in a way, considering perhaps they aren't aware that the mullet went out of fashion...or never actually was in fashion. However, Madrid, Spain has had the grand idea of bringing the mullet back. They plan to implement their plan by infiltrating some mullets with the additional and ever popular dreadlocks as well. The result? A very ugly, in fact I shudder every time I see it, hairstyle.

5. Walking. Madrilenos do not know how to walk in a straight line. They do not walk in a logical pattern, nor are they courteous and make room for those walking in the opposite direction as they are. They do not say "Pardon, I have forgotten how to walk." They do not say "I'm sorry, I am a bit off balance today." They simply give you a dirty look when they pass you, especially as you are scampering to come up with a plan not to ram head-on with them.

And so it is, folks. Just a few little things, but I should head to bed now. Vicky our senora is snoring, so it probably is time for me to get a few z's in as well.